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Wednesday Oct 21 2015

The Tonight Show Starring with Conan

At the White House the other day, President Obama sang to Usher. And because the president was singing, Usher went to the Situation Room and approved a drone strike in Syria.

The Cubs are on the verge of being eliminated from the National League playoffs. Cubs fans haven’t been this disappointed since every moment of their lives.

Bernie Sanders praised Joe Biden’s decision not to run. Sanders said, "There’s only room for one goofy old dude."

Today is "Back to the Future" Day. It’s the day Marty McFly traveled forward in time only to find out the most important thing to people in 2015 is movies from the '80s.

The University of Louisville is being accused of luring basketball recruits to the school with strippers and prostitutes. To be fair, college ball is supposed to prepare them for life in the NBA.

Joe Biden announced he is not running for president. And so, as promised, Hillary Clinton immediately released his dog.



The Tonight Show Starring with Kimmel

After a lot of speculation, Vice President Joe Biden today announced that he is not running for president of the United States. He made the announcement this afternoon from the Rose Garden at the White House. It's weird to hold a press conference to say you're not doing something, right? Like announcing to your girlfriend that you won't be proposing.

Biden said the window is closed on a presidential campaign, which is true. The election is only 13 months away. There's barely enough time to put a suit on.


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