Tags: Rand Paul | Festivus | Airing of Grievances

Sen. Rand Paul Tweets Latest 'Festivus' List of Grievances

By    |   Tuesday, 23 Dec 2014 03:42 PM

Cook the fabulous holiday dinner, erect the plain, undecorated aluminum pole, grapple with "feats of strength" and get ready for Kentucky GOP Sen. Rand Paul's latest list of "airing of grievances" for this year's glorious Festivus holidays!

Paul, once more, has chosen the holiday season to launch his list of semi-comedic grievances on his Twitter site, stating: "Christmas is a time for joy. For sharing blessings w/family & friends. It is not a time to air grievances. That's what #Festivus is for."

The wacky faux holiday burst into national awareness in a 1997 episode of "Seinfeld," in which Frank Costanza invents the secular, non-denominational Festivus, the holiday" for the rest of us."

Part of the festivities include the "Airing of Grievances" in which family members get to voice their complaints about relatives and friends, but this year, Paul limited his grievances to Washington.

"I've got a lot of problems with you people (mostly in D.C.), and today you're going to hear about it! Stayed tuned for #Festivus grievances," Paul wrote, NBC News reported.

"First, politics in general: As a doctor, I was trained first to do no harm. Wouldn't it be nice if politicians started from that premise?

"But we 'get' politics is the art of looking 4 trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly&applying wrong remedies."

Paul wrote: "In honor of my good friend (Sen.) Tom Coburn, (R-Okla.) I will now tell u some of my grievances about government waste of YOUR tax $.

"For some reason your government spent your money to learn poop throwing chimps are better communicators.

"Your government spent $387,000 of your money on Swedish massages for rabbits. Your government spent over $300,000 to study synchronized swimming in sea monkeys. Say that 3 times fast.

"Your State Dept spent $90 MILLION on cultural exchanges, including State Department idol and band camp. Last one, because I could do this all day. Your government literally spent $10,000 to watch grass grow.

"Along with ridiculous wastes of $ we've already aired, the gov't makes some dumb regulations. Did you know you could go to jail in DC for 90 days for giving a tour without a license? And don't even try to sell raw milk without a license. 14 million hours will be spent every year to make sure you know how many calories are in vending machine food."

On his recent back-and-forth battle of words with Sen. Marco Rubio over Obama's plans to open up diplomatic ties and trade with Cuba, presidential contender Paul tweeted: "Tempting to air a grievance @marcorubio again, but we've done that enough for this week. Instead I will say an early Merry Christmas."

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Cook the fabulous holiday dinner, erect the plain, undecorated aluminum pole, grapple with "feats of strength" and get ready for Kentucky GOP Sen. Rand Paul's latest list of "airing of grievances" for this year's glorious Festivus holidays!
Festivus, Airing of Grievances
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2014-42-23
Tuesday, 23 Dec 2014 03:42 PM
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