The Best of Late Nite Jokes Edited by Newsmax.com

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

President Obama did a great job of delivering jokes at the White House Correspondents Dinner this week. NBC is trying to sign him for the 9 o'clock slot.

Vice President Joe Biden gave a speech to fifth graders in New York. He said his dog is smarter than Obama's dog. Actually the dog is smarter than he is. He knows when not to speak.

State officials warned that California could be broke by July. Which is great — most people thought we were already broke. That gives us a month to party!

The National Institute of Health is sending researchers into bars to find out why gay men engage in risky sexual behavior while drunk. Here's a better idea: How about finding out why politicians like John Edwards engage in risky sexual behavior while sober?

Late Show with David Letterman

It's graduation time. I don't remember much about my commencement speaker, but I remember the theme from his speech — "How to Outfox the Repo Man."

The White House had its Correspondents Dinner. President Obama was really funny. He was so excited that afterwards he got up and head-butted Rush Limbaugh.

The Octo-Mom had a thing done. Now she can't have any more kids. And I thought to myself, "Well they nipped that in the bud.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Joan Rivers won "Celebrity Apprentice." They say the show is all about product placement. And I think we all know the product — Botox.

She was delighted to win — you could see it written all over her face.

Boy George was released from prison after serving four months. He said the experience was rough, humiliating, and degrading . . . and he couldn't wait to go back.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Rerun

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

The price of a stamp is going up to 44 cents. It's out of control. If only there was some other way to send written messages . . .

If anyone can think of anything just e-mail me.

Amy Winehouse had to cancel a gig because of heavy rain . . . which is unusual — she usually has to cancel because of snow.