Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
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The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Today is the first day of spring. Or as Al Gore calls it — global warming.
Sen. Chris Dodd, after first denying it, now admits that he’s the one who eliminated the provision in the stimulus package that outlawed excessive bonuses. Coincidentally, he just happened to receive $280,000 from AIG in campaign contributions. What are the odds of that?
We now own AIG — 80 percent of it. Because of all the outrage over the bonuses, armed guards now have to be placed outside the AIG offices. Not only are we paying for AIG executives bonuses, we’re also paying to protect the executives from us.
I have a better idea: Put all the employees inside, put bars on the windows, and call it a jail.
Late Show with David Letterman
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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
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Jimmy Kimmel Live!
It’s the first day of spring. Michelle Obama celebrated by planting a vegetable garden at the White House. She said she did it to teach kids about growing food and to help her family survive the coming economic apocalypse.
While she was digging, she found President Bush’s missing GI Joe.
It was the first time a hoe has been used at the White House since the Clinton administration.
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