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Tuesday Mar 04 2008 Late Nite Jokes Archive


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The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

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Late Show with David Letterman

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Late Night with Conan O'Brien

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Primary Day today. It looks like John McCain has clinched the Republican nomination. He was very excited when they woke him up to tell him.

Big scandal at "American Idol." It turns out one of the contestants worked as a nude male stripper. He used to give lap dances to men. And they’re letting him stay on the show — apparently he is Ryan Seacrest’s new personal assistant.

Barbara Walters’ “Royal Family Special“ got the best ratings for "20/20" in years, since they had the Michael Jackson special five years ago. Michael Jackson and the Queen of England are actually very similar. He is the King of Pop, she is the Queen of England, and they are both old white women.


Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Big day for caucuses. Everybody trying to decide who they should support. According to exit polls, 53 percent of the voters still hadn’t made up their minds even after they voted.

There have been charges of foul play. Obama has accused Clinton of smearing him by saying he is a Muslim or Muslim sympathizer; Clinton has accused Obama or his people of trying to dump a bucket of water on her to make her melt.

It’s still undecided: Obama won Vermont; Clinton won Rhode Island, which is a tiny little state. It’s only the size of a head of a pin.

It's like a war: Hillary has said, “If we pull out now, the guy I tried to make look like a terrorist wins.”