Did everyone see American Gladiators last night? Not the NBC show, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? They were so hostile to each other I thought they were married.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Barack Obama Campaign Promises presented by Senator Barack Obama

10. "To keep the budget balanced, I'll rent the Situation Room for sweet sixteens"
9. "I will double your tax money at the craps table"
8. "Appoint Mitt Romney Secretary of Lookin' Good"
7. "If you bring a gator to the White House, I'll wrassle it"
6. "I'll put Regis on the nickel"
5. "I'll rename the tenth month of the year 'Barack-tober'"
4. "I won't let Apple release the new and improved iPod the day after you bought the previous model"
3. "I'll find money in the budget to buy Letterman a decent hairpiece"
2. "Pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear"
1. "Three words: Vice President Oprah"

Late Show with David Letterman

Here in New York, they�ve found high levels of mercury in sushi. And also in the Yankees.

And also in that thing on Donald Trump�s head.

And today, in Central Park, a squirrel found traces of mercury in his nuts.

How about that Mitt Romney? He looks like an American president portrayed in a Canadian movie.

Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Rerun

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It�s pouring in L.A.! CBS has asked me to remind everyone that in the event of flooding, Drew Carey can be used as a flotation device.

Rush Limbaugh has a new girlfriend! [Picture of Shrek and Fiona.]

He�s doing good. He lost a little weight; he�s got his color back . . .

There have been strange reports out of Texas. Unidentified flying objects! George Bush once saw an object he couldn�t identify . . . turns out it was a bird.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

The government is trying to give the economy a boost. The economy is apparently in bad shape ever since Bob Barker passed away.

At least I assume he passed away; I haven�t seen him on �The Price Is Right.�

They�re giving us a rebate check. I think it is very nice of them to give us our own money back.