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Friday Apr 24 2015

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

The royal baby is expected to arrive sometime this weekend, and some people are actually camping outside the hospital in hopes of seeing it. So if you want to be the first to find out what the royal baby looks like, just look at a photo of any baby.

According to a survey from the Physical Activity Council, Americans are the least active they’ve been since 2007. Some say it's because there's more technology, while others say it's because winter now lasts 11 months a year. It's snowing here a week before May.

That's right, Americans are more inactive than ever. To which Netflix said, "You're welcome."

Miami Dolphins lineman A.J. Francis just tweeted that he has signed up to be an Uber driver during the offseason. But since he's with the Dolphins he can only drive 15 yards before he has to punt.

Late Show with David Letterman

Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows?

Anybody go to the Olive Garden? They offer a hot meal at a fair price, which is all I'm ever looking for. Every table at the Olive Garden now has a computer. It's the perfect way for a family of four to ignore one another.

And while you're there on the Olive Garden computer, you can get on the Internet and look up a better restaurant.

They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. And Hillary said, "I'm available."

Hillary is just a regular person, just like you and me. Her assistant puts on Hillary's pants one leg at a time.

 
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