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Tuesday Jul 29 2014

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Last night was the finale of "The Bachelorette." It came down to two guys, Josh and Nick. But ultimately Andi went with Josh. She said after looking into her heart and doing a lot of soul searching that he was the person she wants to spend the rest of her publicity tour with.

Of course, Nick says he's heartbroken, lonely, devastated, and whatever else he has to say to be the next “Bachelor.”

LeBron James announced that he will wear his original jersey number 23 when he returns to the Cavaliers this season. Of course, it was awkward when he discovered that even HE burned his old Cavaliers jersey.

The TSA is offering a $5,000 reward for the best idea on how to speed up airport security lines. So far the best idea is making a line for people who know what they're doing and another line for people who have never been to an airport before.

Late Show with David Letterman

There's a dating site called OK Cupid. It's for folks who are looking for someone who is just OK.

As it turns out, the people who run OK Cupid don't really match anybody up. They just shuffle the cards. They don't care. That's how L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling found a girlfriend with a tape recorder.

As it turns out, the people who run OK Cupid don't really match anybody up. They just shuffle the cards. They don't care. That's how L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling found a girlfriend with a tape recorder.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

In Siberia locals recently discovered a giant hole in the ground. Now two more Siberian holes have appeared. Scientists don't know what's causing these holes. Astronomers blame falling meteorites. Archaeologists blame underground gas explosions. Fox News blames Obamacare. Mel Gibson blames Jewish people.

Graceland will auction some of Elvis Presley's personal memorabilia. Let's play "Books That Elvis Checked Out." There's "Hound Dog of the Baskervilles." "The Blue Suede Shoes of Madison County." "A Hunka-Hunka Huckleberry Finn." "Fifty Shades of Graceland." "Are You Lonesome Dove Tonight?"

Late Night With Seth Meyers

A new poll shows that younger Americans sympathize less with Israel than older generations did. But then again, most young Americans think Israel is the cat on "The Smurfs."

A Los Angeles judge has ruled in favor of Donald Sterling’s wife and will allow her to sell the L.A. Clippers. That leaves Sterling in the awkward position of hating a white person.

A company in India is releasing the first-ever “smart shoe” that connects with Google Maps to track your footsteps. “Merry Christmas,” said your wife.

 
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