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Tuesday Jan 27 2015

Conan

Today President Obama is in the Middle East. He met the new king of Saudi Arabia. Obama also met Saudi Arabia's first lady, the second lady, third lady, and fourth lady.

In a speech today, President Obama said that Michelle Obama is very strong and talented and she frequently tells him that he is wrong. As a result, Michelle Obama is now the Republican front-runner for 2016.

President Obama said the small drone that flew over the White House fence yesterday could be bought at any RadioShack. After hearing this, the RadioShack CEO said, "I'm shocked to find out we still sell something people want."

Today, the Apple iPad turns five years old. So it's official. The iPad is as old as the people who make it.

Late Show with David Letterman

Yesterday was going to be a historic blizzard. And when you get information like this, you make mistakes. Boy, is my face red. Last night, at the last minute before the supermarket closed, I wrestled a lady for the last Lean Cuisine.

The blizzard was a huge nonevent and, of course, the next big nonevent is the Super Bowl.

More bad news for the New England Patriots. The NFL now has video of those deflated footballs alone in an elevator with Ray Rice.

In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three or four days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?

Jimmy Kimmel Live

With all the bad weather, people are expecting to be cooped up. Some have been turning to Craigslist to find blizzard companions. As a general rule, if you wouldn't sleep on a futon you found on Craigslist, you probably shouldn't sleep with a person you found there either.

If you want to go to the Super Bowl in Phoenix, it will cost you a lot of money, double what they were last year. The average asking price is around $6,000 per ticket. Do people not know the game is on television this year?

On eBay, a group of four Super Bowl tickets is going for $51,000. Although to be fair, that price includes a full-body rubdown from stadium security.

 
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