Tags: relationship | love | nice

Picking Perfect Mate? Science Says Nice Guys Finish First

By Greg Richter   |   Sunday, 02 Feb 2014 08:20 PM

When picking a mate, it turns out nice guys are the best choice.

It's common for people to have a list of traits they want in a potential spouse, relationship expert Ty Tashiro tells the New York Post, but they are better off ignoring it and going for someone who is simply agreeable.

Women often want a man who is handsome, tall and makes good money, Tashiro says, but only about 1 percent of the men they are likely to meet will fit the bill. If they settle for average looks, height and income, they raise those odds to 13 percent.

Tashiro is a professor at the Center for Addictions, Personality, and Emotion Research at the University of Maryland and says people should forget looks altogether. They don't predict sexual satisfaction anyway.

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A University of Tennessee study showed that neither looks nor income were major factors in happy marriages.

What was a factor: the nice guy, or woman, who is "courteous, flexible, trusting, good-natured, cooperative, forgiving, soft-hearted and tolerant."

"Men high in agreeableness are not only more likely to be kind, but also more likely to keep the sexual desire alive in relationships," Tashiro writes in his book, "The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love."

And while looks may fade and money may be lost, nice guys and nice gals, tend to remain that way throughout life, Tashiro says.

The least likely happy relationships are among neurotics. When a neurotic marries someone who isn't, the neurotic inevitably breaks up with the happier person, one study showed. The neurotic is usually jealous of the other person's happiness.

While 90 percent of people will marry at some point in their lives, only 30 percent find enduring love, Tashiro said.

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