Tags: Marriage

Selflessness — Key to a Happy Marriage

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Friday, 10 Oct 2014 10:30 AM Current | Bio | Archive

If my radio program is any indication of a greater reality, women are complaining more than ever about their husbands.

Over the 40years I have been taking calls, I've noticed two particular changes in how women deal with their men.

First, once they have children they virtually leave their husbands in a closed car with the window cracked open a tiny bit in 90 degree weather. The neglect and disinterest in his well-being is getting to be a normal part of marriage.

Second, women then complain about not getting help around the house and attention on birthdays, Valentine's Day, and anniversaries.

These women actually seem surprised that their dismissive and demeaning treatment of their husbands result in him being unhappy. One woman with two children called angry that her husband wants sexual intimacy. She told him she was no longer interested in sex — ever again. They were only in their early 30s!

I said, "Let's talk about the alternatives for him. Pick one. Should he use porn, get a girlfriend, hire hookers, or leave?"

The reaction was: "None."

I explained that he is not going to go his whole life without lovemaking and intimacy and therefore one of these options is what he’ll eventually select.

Since the feminist movement, grandmothers and moms have not been teaching the next generation of women anything positive about men, nor instructing them in how to treat a man. It is not only the feminist movement that is to blame, but also the divorce culture, which has played its part in breeding a deep hostility in women against being sweet, loving, sensitive, giving companions to their husbands.

This is a recent email from a listener who heard my opening comments about choosing a partner wisely and then appreciating their spouse as is: "Today is actually our 15th wedding anniversary and your topic for today couldn't be more fitting. As a child of divorce, I had no idea the baggage I brought into my marriage. I swore I wouldn't repeat the patterns of my parents, but found myself doing just that as time went on. I feared abandonment and was afraid to express my true feelings for fear of losing my husband. Opening myself up and truly considering my husband's wishes and needs was the key."

That's it. There is almost nothing in our culture that promotes such selflessness as a pathway to marital happiness. Check out the bulk of television. So-called reality shows consist entirely of selfishness and vindictiveness between women and men.

After choosing wisely, comes treating kindly.


Dr. Laura (Laura Schlessinger) is a well-known radio personality and best-selling author. She appears regularly on many television shows and in many publications. Read more reports from Dr. Laura — Click Here Now.

 




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Since the feminist movement, grandmothers and moms have not been teaching the next generation of women anything positive about men, nor instructing them in how to treat a man.
Marriage
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2014-30-10
Friday, 10 Oct 2014 10:30 AM
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