Joan Swirsky
Wednesday, May. 05, 2004

Talk about profiling! To my mind, they captured the very essence – or hollowness – of John Kerry.

But my perception of Kerry’s vacant innards has nothing to do with his appearance, which, in truth, could be compared as favorably to Abe Lincoln’s as unfavorably to old Ichabod’s. The other descriptions, however, seem right on the mark.

The Absence of Anything Substantial

Substance, as both a physical and character quality involves, to use the vernacular, something you can sink your teeth into, or that which is known or felt to be authentic, credible, reliable, worthy of trust – and in this season, presidential.

But it’s impossible for anyone with even a tenuous sense of objectivity to think of Kerry as having authentic substance when his persona changes from day to day, depending on the issue he thinks his audiences wants to hear.

From major issues like the war on terrorism, in which he has flip-flopped interminably, to less urgent but controversial ones like global warming in which he has acknowledged his ownership of several SUVs and then backtracked to say that his wife actually owns the gas-guzzlers, his lack of credibility screams from the rooftops, leaving his credibility in a hollow gap.

That echo effect when you shout into an empty barrel.

What strikes me every time I hear Kerry speak is the narcotizing effect of his words. Although he can’t be called inarticulate in terms of phrasing or syntax, his words inevitably meet the ears and the brain with the deadening effect of an opiate.

Not only does he use a thousand words to expound on subjects that would be better served by 300, he also uses the same valence for all subjects, invoking the identical tones about abortion-on-demand as rising gas prices, for environmental concerns as for the deaths of the heroic American military forces risking and sacrificing their lives to defend our freedom in Afghanistan and Iraq.

To Kerry’s mind, every issue has the same weight because every issue is subordinate to his real mission, which is to defeat President Bush in November and return the United States to the left wing, socialist-supporting, U.N.-embracing, hate-America-firsters that sang the same treasonous song under Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton – both of whom set the scene and paved the way for September 11!

Kerry believes that given enough oratorical flourishes and pretense of outrage about every Bush issue under the sun, he can fool people into believing that he actually stands for something. But in spite of invoking the faux version of Roosevelt and Kennedy that he thinks might win him the presidency, Kerry has only succeeded in curing insomnia!

To be fair, it is true that in terms of gaining high office, putting people to sleep is not a fatal flaw. World history and American history is dotted with figures that did the same.

The problem with Kerry, however, is that his message resounds – and is echoed in even greater decibel levels by shriekers like senators Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton, former senator Bob Kerrey and DNA leftist James Carville – with the unconvincing hollowness of the proverbial empty barrel.

Ichabod Crane

Forget about lanky Ichabod’s gangly appearance and his ridiculous pretenses of authority and power. The influence of Washinton Irving’s classic of the schoolteacher from Sleepy Hollow, NY, is that his deceptions brought him to no good. After competing with his rival, Brom Bones, for the affections of the (hmmm) heiress Katrina, he is rebuffed by the lass and rides off on his horse, Gunpowder, to lick his wounds, only to be confronted with the apparition of the Headless Horseman.

Ichabod is never seen again and his townspeople theorize that he is yet (hmmm) another hen-pecked man. In fact, Ichabod is alive, having met up with some strange mountain men who offered him a drink that put him into a coma for 20 years. Just about the same amount of time, coincidentally, that Kerry – a clueless liberal – has been in the Senate and in a politically figurative coma for nearly two decades!

When Ichabod finally awakens, the entire world has changed. One critic of Irving’s book has said that, upon awakening, Ichabod’s “voice is strong, distinctive, and clear [but his] language is archaic and patronizing…” Sound familiar?

The more things change, the more they remain the same, or as Kerry might phrase it in the language of the turncoat French who opted to turn their backs on America in favor of continuing to do business with the Iraqi dictatorship, Plus ca change, plus c'est la même chose.

Where exactly does Kerry’s allegiance lie? He says it’s with America but what can possibly explain his ardent support of American-hating regimes like France and the United Nations? And why, to the normal average American, do Kerry’s “patriotic” protestations resonate with such hollowness?

Hollowness, i.e., emptiness, seems to be Kerry’s signature as his campaign goes on. Just a couple of weeks ago, Tim Russert interviewed the Democratic presidential candidate on “Meet the Press” and played a videotape of Kerry's first appearance on the program from 1971 – in which the 27-year-old heavily-bearded Kerry owned up to the fact that he committed atrocities in Vietnam.

"There are all kinds of atrocities," Kerry says on the tape, "and I would have to say that, yes, yes, I committed the same kind of atrocities as thousands of other soldiers have committed in that I took part in shootings in free-fire zones. I conducted harassment and interdiction fire. I used 50-caliber machine guns, which we were granted and ordered to use, which were our only weapons against people. I took part in search-and-destroy missions, in the burning of villages. All of this is contrary to the laws of warfare."

The clip ends and Russert asks Kerry: "You committed atrocities?"

To which Kerry replies lightheartedly: "Where did all that dark hair go, Tim? That's a big question for me."

Where did his dark hair go?! This response went beyond hollow into the nether regions of pathological narcissism and a real-time version of the incredible shrinking man – shrinking, that is, in the eyes of Americans who know a turncoat when they see him.

What Russert failed to ask Kerry, and what the American judicial system has failed to act on, is this: If Kerry has admitted to committing these horrific war crimes, then why has he never been tried as a war criminal?

As his campaign progresses – or, more accurately, regresses – it is clearer than ever that Kerry is a hollow man who has bolstered his fragile sense of identity and authenticity by marrying rich women whose great wealth has offered him the veneer of respectability. And he has achieved high office in the only state that has offered other un-convicted criminals like Ted Kennedy amnesty for their crimes, ultimately rising to presidential candidacy by the dumb luck of having his opponents run out of money or implode.

What America now needs in an age and under circumstances that demand substance and not emptiness, is leadership, like that of President Bush’s, that is the polar opposite of John Kerry’s.

Unlike Kerry who has spent nearly 20 years in the U.S. Senate but can point to NO concrete or meaningful accomplishments – “the absence of anything substantial” – the president can point, in less than four years, to tax cuts that have invigorated the recession he inherited from his predecessor; education reform that is well on its way to, well, reforming education; and a war on terrorism that might never have been necessary if the likes of Kerry had not consistently voted to slash our intelligence and military budgets.

And unlike Kerry, who has orated in his equal-valence tone for years – “that echo effect when you shout into an empty barrel” – without any tangible effect, the president has made it clear to the entire world that he means when he says that the safety and security of America is his mission in life.

Further, while Kerry bears an eerie similarity to Ichabod Crane in his pomposity, arrogance, see-through façade and comatose cluelessness, the president has none of these pretenses, preferring instead to address the issues America faces with no-nonsense talk and courageous action.

Although Kerry has hired the “best and brightest” of the his fellow left-winger’s public-relations firms and availed himself of the leftist moneybags who love their wealth but hate the country that made that wealth possible, his message – according to every poll and even the liberal media – is striking a hollow note with the American people.

When the leftist New York Times has a front-page, above-the-fold headline citing the nervousness of Kerry’s supporters about “his message,” you know the candidate is in trouble!

That is because Kerry lacks the one key ingredient that sets him apart from President Bush: passion!

Kerry is never lost for words, but the president is often lost for words as his eyes well up with tears speaking about our service people in Iraq and Afghanistan and the loss of every single soldier, or when he hears our national anthem or speaks of his father who he clearly loves beyond mere words.

With a striking lack of passion, Kerry says that he is outraged by all of his rival’s domestic and foreign policies but the president is passionately outraged by the fact that murderous terrorists have waged war on our country.

Every leader has flaws. But certainly hollowness ranks among the greatest. Americans are fortunate that in the upcoming race, they will be given the opportunity to choose between a man of substance and the ultimate hollow man.

Joan Swirsky is a New York-based journalist and author who can be reached at joansharon@aol.com