James Hirsen
Tuesday, Nov. 26, 2002

At its final public forum in San Diego, Calif., actress and amateur archer Geena Davis gave a little lecture to Education Secretary Rod Paige's Commission on Opportunity in Athletics.

The 15-member commission, formed in June, wants to improve Title IX. Under this discriminatory federal law, colleges have been forced to dump male athletic programs at a breakneck pace. If members of the committee have half a brain, they'll nix it rather than fix it.

Davis dismissed as "unfair" the stats that were presented to the commission about few girls being interested in playing sports. She claimed the numbers were skewed and that Title IX should not be changed based on such data.

"I am here to take you for a short ride in Thelma and Louise's car if you think it's fair and just to limit a girl's opportunity to play sports based on her response to an interest survey," Davis quipped.

The statuesque sermonizer also attended a rally to preserve Title IX, which featured female athletes and signs reading "Don't Drop the Ball on Girls."

The Left Coast Report says it looks like Davis has come down with a pretty stubborn case of Celebrity Athlete's Foot-in-Mouth Disease.

Another Glover Cover

The U.N. sure seems to like its movie stars. The international left-winged conglomerate has tapped Danny Glover to host a series for it on the Showtime cable network.

Glover just set out for Trinidad to film the debut installment of "Hot Spots," a series that will begin airing in January. The starter episode is going to deal with HIV-AIDS, U.N. spokeswoman Vashty Maharaj tells the Associated Press.

The United Nations actually had a hand in creating the series. Actor Glover will host the first of 10 episodes. Other celebrities slated to take turns include Angelina Jolie and Jeff Bridges.

Jolie will visit a refugee camp in Zambia, where collagen injections are still unavailable. Bridges will explore the terrible hunger situation in the U.S., and maybe even explain how our nation got so fat while starving. No word yet on whether Michael Jackson will be hosting an international parenting workshop.

The Left Coast Report is not holding its breath but believes a cable show of a different stripe is long overdue – "The U.N. Commission on Human Wrongs."

Guns and Moses

The National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum in Oklahoma City has a brand new sculpture on display. It's one that conservatives will love and liberals will pretend to hate.

It's a statue of Charlton Heston, donated by members of the National Rifle Association. It features Heston in his 1968 movie role from "Will Penny." Heston is holding a lariat in one hand and a rifle in the other.

"I'm enormously impressed, indeed, I'm overwhelmed," Heston told the Associated Press.

Saying what most Americans think about this giant of a man, actor Tom Selleck, who attended the museum gala, summed it up this way: "There will never be another Charlton Heston."

The Left Coast Report suggests that this is the kind of sculpture we should get the NEA to shoot for, instead of its usual placing of crucifixes in urine and shoving of objects into areas where they don't belong.

'West Wing' Goes More Left Wing

What does a left-leaning politically oriented TV program do when its ratings start to sag? Move further left.

NBC's "The West Wing," which idealizes a liberal Democrat administration, has just fired all of its GOP-type consultants.

Former press secretary Marlin Fitzwater, pollster Frank Luntz and former Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan are seeing their consultant jobs come to a brisk end. The show, however, is still going to retain the services of former Clinton administration enablers Dee Dee Myers and Gene Sperling.

"They dropped us because they decided they didn't want a conservative viewpoint anymore," Fitzwater informed the Federal Paper. The Left Coast Report thinks, if this is an indication of the direction it's going, NBC may have to readjust its slogan to "Must Flee TV."

Hooker Up

HBO keeps trying to push the envelope of primetime cable fare. In December, a time when the glory of the Christmas season is on full display, HBO is planning a spirited special of its own. It's going to take viewers on a tour of … a brothel.

Yes, you read it right. The one-hour special will show the behind-the-scenes operations of the "Moonlite Bunny Ranch," an establishment in Moundhouse, Nev., where prostitution is legal.

The special has been dubbed "Cathouse" and will follow the season finale of "The Sopranos" on Dec. 8. It's a part of HBO's aptly named "America Undercover." Must be part of the network's public affairs division. The Left Coast Report notes that, although HBO has been called "visionary," "insightful" and "imaginative" by some, a better description might be porn peddlers.

Mrs. Chin Weighs In

Heard about the latest warped celebrity pastime? It's called "pummel the prez."

Yeah, it's wartime, but that just makes the activity all the more popular with the show-biz set. Even the spouses can't seem to resist getting into the swing of things.

Jay Leno's wife recently got caught up in the craze. Mavis Leno was being honored in D.C. for her work in fighting the Taliban's treatment of women when she decided to give some foreign policy pointers to the president.

"What happens with Afghanistan? Finish the damn job!" she told the Washington Post.

Mrs. Leno advised President Bush not to "… leave a big hole [and] create a situation which will result in us having to go back in 10 or 20 years and waste the lives of another generation."

Good thing Jay's other half spoke out. Otherwise Bush, Rice, Rumsfeld and the Joint Chiefs may never have thought about the idea of putting the final touches on the war in Afghanistan.

The Left Coast Report is amazed at how the Hollywood types can convince themselves they've got better info than the combined counterterrorist organizations of the Western world. What do they think CIA stands for – Celebrity Intelligence Agency?

Madonna Peeved Over Public Pathway

Tony Blair is about to get an angry letter from Mr. and Mrs. Guy Ritchie.

Mrs. Ritchie, better known as Madonna, is teed off over plans to place a public right-of-way through her and her husband's lavish estate.

Apparently, some U.K. environmental land access laws allow for "areas of mountain, moorland, heath and downland" to be granted to the public.

Guy Ritchie's mom, Shireen Ritchie, told the Daily Express that Madonna and her director spouse "feel the legislation has put them and their two young children in a potentially dangerous situation."

The Left Coast Report hopes the material girl makes it downright fashionable to fight for that critical facet of freedom – the right to private property.

The Left Coast Report is put together by James L. Hirsen and the staff of NewsMax.

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