"Former first lady, former senator and former secretary of state" is how Stephen Colbert introduced Hillary Clinton's appearance on his talk show, "The Colbert Report," on Tuesday night.
But the faux conservative Comedy Central wag hastened to add that she "is the current front-runner [for president], which is surprising since it sounds like she can't hold down a job!'
Colbert even noted that Clinton said German Chancellor Angela Merkel "has a great sense of humor," and wisecracked, "You heard it, folks: Hillary Clinton thinks German chancellors are a laugh riot," while flashing a photo of Hitler on the screen.
Colbert then went on a comedic rant about Clinton's new book, "Hard Choices," saying, "This book is 656 pages of shameless name dropping. There is no way on earth that one woman could be in so many places at once," as Clinton stepped through a door onto the Colbert stage and his audience chanted, "Hillary! Hillary!" to Colbert's mock surprise and consternation, the Washington Post
The pair shared a make-believe name-dropping contest
, with Colbert saying, "Name dropper? That's not what my good friend Tom Hanks calls me when we're hanging out at George Clooney's place" and Clinton responding, "Oh, I love George. I wish he could have joined us when I had lunch with Meryl Streep and Ecuadoran President Rafael Correa."
"I will have you know, Madam, I once did an entire show with President Bill Clinton," Colbert said, to which she replied, "Oh, I hate to break this to you, but I've met him too."
Colbert even asked, "What kind of loser do you have to be to NOT be included in your book?" Clinton replied, "Well, you're not in it, Stephen."
The comedy routine was part of Clinton's promotional tour for "Hard Choices,"
which Colbert said has been on the New York Times best-seller list for seven weeks and has sold 500,000 copies.
Colbert said the book covered no real hard choices, and asked, "Would you rather fight one horse-size duck or 100 duck-size horses?"
Clinton responded, "First, I'd try to find common ground between ducks and horses. For instance, they both grew up on old McDonald's farm. Then, I'd establish a timetable to achieve meaningful horse-duck dialogue."
"And, Stephen, I'm convinced — with patience and a strong commitment from our allies, the pigs and the geese, we'd have peace-peace here, peace-peace there, here a peace, there a peace, everywhere a peace."
To which Colbert responded, "E-I-E-I-Oh, you're good."
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