'True Tori,' the Lifetime docu-series about actress Tori Spelling and her family, released a clip previewing the next episode and giving viewers a sneak peak at unfaithful husband Dean McDermott discussing his self-destructive alcoholism.
In the 90-second clip published online by US Magazine
, the 47-year-old Canadian-born McDermott attempts to explain his infidelity with 28-year-old Emily Goodhand.
When asked by a friend why he did what he did, McDermott said, "I didn't think that I would get caught."
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"I was drinking and using drugs, man. I was not dealing with things that happened to me in the past," said McDermott about cheating on his wife of seven years.
When pressed by his friend, McDermott added, "It's not like I was looking for sex. . . [Tori] and I, our sex life is solid."
"I have a brain that wants to kill me," McDermott continued. "I have a brain that wants me dead. That's how the alcoholic mind thinks."
The Canadian actor concluded by telling his friend that he was on the verge of hitting bottom, which is the only way he believes he is able to turn his life around.
"I need to change. I am on the verge of losing everything that means anything to me in this world. My wife and my family," McDermott said.
The 40-year-old Spelling, who is known to most for her long-running character on the 1990s TV show "Beverly Hills, 90210," spent at least six days recently in a hospital due to stress
brought on by the revelation that her husband had been unfaithful, sources close to the couple told E! Online
"You don't stop loving someone because they do something really bad to you," Spelling told US Weekly earlier this month
. "He was my soul mate, but he completely broke my heart. It makes you not trust anything that's happened in your relationship. But until I figure it out, I don't want my kids to know any different . . . I owe this relationship more than just saying something horrible happened and dismissing it. I need to figure out if he can change."
Spelling and McDermott have four children together.
Despite their troubles, McDermott reportedly spent 10-hour days at the hospital last week caring for his wife. The couple has reportedly been trying to piece their marriage back together ever since news broke in December that McDermott cheated on Spelling.
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