Kevin Bacon schooled millennials, those born between 1980 and 1995, on what it was like be a young adult in the 1980s as part of a Mashable.com comedy video titled "'80s Awareness,"
Speaking in a low voice while wearing a black leather jacket and sunglasses — iconic 1980s attire — the 55-year-old Bacon lectures his significantly younger audience while melodramatic piano music plays in the background as if he was giving an after-school public service announcement.
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"Awareness of '80s culture and technology has been in a significant decline, especially among a certain demographic. I'm talking to you millennials!" Bacon exclaimed, after introducing himself as a "two-time Saturn Award nominee." Saturn Awards are presented annually by the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films.
After telling millennials they have "no idea how hard life was," Bacon went on to relay various embarrassing experiences that the children of the Internet age have no experience with because of their reliance on modern technology.
"If I was too shy to ask a girl out, there was no OK Twinder. I went to the White Pages — Google it — and called her house, and then you had to mix small talk with her mom for like 20 minutes before Alicia even came to the phone and let me tell ya, when she turns down you invitation to Sbarros, you can't just swipe away the hurt," Bacon said while mimicking a smartphone movement.
Bacon, who was known for starring in such 1980s and early 1990s blockbusters as "Footloose," "A Few Good Men," and "JFK," went on to say his favorite app was the "Rubik's Cube."
And what nostalgic 1980s phony outrage video would be complete without a comparison between today's tension between the United States and Russia, formerly the USSR, and the Cold War of yesteryear.
"I saw you tweeting an article about Russia. You think Russia's a threat now?" Bacon said with a condescending laugh. "Let me tell you about a little thing called the Cold War. They had nukes pointed at us for 20 years. You couldn't even skateboard to a Blockbuster without getting nuked.
"My friend Tommy went out to get a copy of 'Gremlins' and never came back. You know why? Nuked," a stern Bacon concluded. "At least that’s what my parents told me."
The nearly two-minute spoof ends with Bacon walking off the set after the cameraman, presumably a millennial, appears to lose interest in the interview when the camera veers away from the actor. Bacon responds by accusing him of having a short attention span, a common millennial stereotype.
Bacon walks out onto the street where a line of hipster-like 20-somethings are glued to their smartphones. In his best angry-old-man tone, Bacon tells them, "You people will never know the comfort of parachute pants."
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