Tags: rove | jarrett | tongue-in-cheek | parody

Rove Lampoons Jarrett's Reaction to State of Union Speech

By Melanie Batley   |   Thursday, 30 Jan 2014 08:44 AM

Republican political strategist Karl Rove took a tongue-in-cheek look Wednesday at what senior presidential adviser Valerie Jarrett must have been thinking after President Barack Obama wrapped up his State of the Union speech, which Rove concluded was "very unimpressive."

In a parody piece carried in The Wall Street Journal, the former deputy chief of staff to President George W. Bush attempted to lift the lid off how senior advisors to any president tend to inaccurately overestimate their bosses as well as their own importance.

"Glad that's over. I hate standing along the walls with congressional staff. I'm closer to Barack than Crazy Uncle Joe—and I'm more powerful, too. So why does he get to sit (in view of the camera no less!) while I have to stand up? My feet are killing me," Rove wrote in the piece, as though he could hear what Jarrett was saying after the speech Tuesday night.

"Barack gave another extraordinary performance. It will put us on the offensive and Republicans on the defensive for the fall. At least if Democrats from red states like Louisiana and Arkansas and Alaska don't start running away from the gift America calls Obamacare," Rove continued, exploring how Jarrett might have reacted to recent attempts by some Democrats to distance themselves from the president.

Rove throws in other quips to show how out-of-touch the perceptions often are of those aides surrounding the president.

"Most people can't see at first Barack's God-given talents. But Barack is a restless spirit with such extraordinary talents he has to be really taxed to be happy. With dropping poll numbers — just temporarily — and nervous Democrats, he's being taxed, so he's happy and came up with some terrific answers," Rove wrote, imagining what she might have thought in the motorcade on the way back to the White House. .

At other points he imagines Jarrett opining about the wisdom of the themes chosen for the speech, including the minimum wage, unemployment, and inequality, even though the collective post-speech commentary criticized the president's lack of vision on that score.

"It's like . . . the day before the final exam Barack would open the book, read it and get an A. That's what he did with this speech. Nailed it," Rove continued, mocking Jarrett. "I spent our first 18 years together being the older mentor. So it's easy to have my mentee my boss now because I respect him so much."

Rove adds, tongue-in-cheek, what he imagines to be Jarrett's final thought: "I have the world's greatest job. Wonder if it's too late to have my Secret Service detail take me to Café Milano for a nightcap to celebrate?"

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