An Imaginary Interview With Sarah Palin

Monday, 30 Aug 2010 01:23 PM

By Jon Friedman

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Sunday marked the second anniversary of Sarah Palin becoming a national celebrity/fixation.

In these two years, Palin has become wise to the ways of the media, playing us as much as we exploit her.

I've never interviewed Palin but I imagine that if I did, it might go something like this.

JF (brightly): It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sarah, I —

SP: Is it really a pleasure to meet me?

JF (warily): Sure, why wouldn’t it be?

SP: Oh, I have you pegged as one of those Eastern elite media people, who live to make fun of me at every turn.

JF (nervously): No-o-o. Not me.

SP (tartly): OK. I guess. What did you want to talk about?

JF (slightly too cheerfully): Well, Sarah, you are, you know, a real lightning rod for controversy and —

SP (tapping her foot impatiently): Tell me something I don’t already know, Mr. I’m-Not-a-Media-Elitist.

JF (clearly shaken by now): I want you to reflect on what it has been like to be YOU, in the fishbowl, for the past two years.

SP (rolling her eyes): Oh, I love it. I just love being a national laughingstock. I love having my and my family’s privacy invaded at every step. Wouldn’t you?

JF (flailing): Yeah, I see what you mean, Sarah, but . . .

SP (moving in for the kill): But that would never happen to you, now would it? You reek of that New York elitist. They wouldn’t think of making a cartoon character out of someone like you.

Palin’s publicist intervenes at this point and informs me that my time is up.

JF (all but throwing up his hands in dismay): I’m sorry, Sarah. I guess I’d better go. Thanks for your time.

SP (flashing her magazine-cover smile and squeezing my arm playfully): Oh, thank you, Jon!

Jon Friedman writes the Media Web column for Click here to read his latest column.

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