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Friday Jun 28 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

An amusement park in Mexico has opened a fake border-crossing attraction. You get to experience what it's like to come across the border. Unfortunately, the park is losing money now because instead of buying tickets, people just keep sneaking in.

A new report from sociologists has discovered the number one cause of prison overcrowding — apparently it's the NFL.

Cleveland Browns rookie Ausar Walcott was arrested for attempted murder. Boston Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was arrested for murder, with possible links to another double murder. In fact, now the NFL is begging the press to start talking about concussions again.

Yesterday, Aaron Hernandez was denied bail even though his lawyer said Hernandez was not a risk to flee. Not a risk to flee? He's a football player. He makes his living running away from people who are chasing him. That is the definition of fleeing.

The statistics are not good: Twenty-seven NFL players have been arrested just since the last Super Bowl. In fact, this could be the first year we see a prison football team in the playoffs. You could have OJ coaching.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

A man in Wisconsin pleaded guilty to having sex with a couch. How do you get arrested for that? Does someone come to your house? "What's going on here? Couch patrol. Furniture vice squad."

In his defense, the man in Wisconsin said he thought it was a loveseat.

A documentary is like a reality show, but classy. It's about something. A television show about something? It's an old-fashioned idea.

 
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