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Friday Jun 14 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

A 97-year-old man from New York who just received his high school diploma. Turns out there’s a problem. Apparently he’s only reading at a 95-year-old level.

Yesterday President Obama spoke at the LGBT pride month celebration at the White House. He promised that as long as he is president, all Americans, regardless of their sexual orientation, will be spied on equally.

Edward Snowden, the 29-year-old guy behind this NSA spy scandal, said in an interview that he is not in hiding. Which would have carried a lot more weight if he hadn’t made the announcement from an undisclosed secret location.

The Taliban is now recruiting women to become suicide bombers. And it's not easy to qualify. The women must be able to push a car loaded with explosives because, as you know, they're not allowed to drive over there.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

A big movie is opening today — "Man of Steel." People in Hollywood are saying it could make $100 million this weekend. To give you an idea how much that is, take the amount of money that the new Will Smith movie made and add $100 million.

Superman is played by Henry Cavil, who is British. I'm not sure why all our iconic American figures are being played by foreigners. We've got a Superman from Britain, a Batman from Britain, a Spider-Man from Britain, and a president from Kenya.

As far as I'm concerned, Christopher Reeve will always be the best Superman. Just like Sean Connery will always be the best James Bond. I'd love to see Superman played by Sean Connery. He could just shave an 'S' into his chest hair.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

President Obama is traveling to Africa later this month, and it's got some people upset because the trip is expected to cost taxpayers more than 60 million dollars. It's mostly for security, hotel accommodations — plus Biden wants a giraffe.

Last night the Democrats beat Republicans 22-0 in the Congressional Baseball Game. Yeah, the Republicans were so bad at baseball, that today they're starting to rethink immigration.

Ever since the government’s spying scandal was exposed, sales of the novel “1984” have jumped 6,000 percent on Amazon. Yeah, “1984” shows how scary it would be if society tracked everything you do. And if you want to read it, just buy it on a website that tracks everything you do.

 
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