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Thursday Jun 13 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

The big story continues to be 29-year-old Edward Snowden, the man behind the leaking of the NSA spy scandal. Speculation is that Snowden is hiding in Hong Kong and could be working for China. Hey, let's get real. Aren't we all pretty much working for China?

Some experts believe the privacy scandal will hurt the NSA. Are they crazy? Do you know how many people want to join now that they've heard the guy who blew the whistle is a high school dropout, making almost $200,000 a year, with a poll dancer girlfriend, and he’s living in Hawaii? People are lining up to get this job.

According to a Gallup poll, President Obama's approval rating has dropped to 45 percent. Luckily for Obama, he has "impeachment insurance." It's called "Joe Biden."

The world's oldest human tumor has been found on the rib of a Neanderthal skeleton in Croatia. The tumor would have been discovered sooner, but they have government healthcare over there.

Conan

This Sunday is Father's Day. Or as NBA players call it, "Don't Answer the Phone Day."

I'm excited that this Sunday is Father's Day because I'm a dad. Yeah, I don't know what I'm getting yet but I have a feeling the government knows.

A recent report finds that by the year 2043 white people will no longer be the majority in America. And by 2050 people will be saying, "I'm not racist. One of my best friends is white."

A recent court case may have laid the groundwork for interns getting paid. It's the landmark case "Conan vs. the College Students Who Wash His Car."

Late Show with David Letterman

Edward Snowden shows up in a hotel in Hong Kong and announces to the world that he's leaked confidential National Security Agency memos and documents. He's now gone. Where is this guy? Gosh, if only there was a way to keep track of people.

Opening this weekend is "Man of Steel." Superman. I'm so excited because a superhero movie hasn't opened since Friday.

For my money, the best Superman was Sean Connery.

The whole movie, if you go to see it — this is a spoiler alert — is Superman complaining about having to fly friends to the airport.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

The Bonnaroo music festival starts today in Tennessee. They have a great lineup this year, including Paul McCartney and Mumford and Sons. My only problem with Mumford and Sons is the guy playing the banjo still has all of his teeth. That's not authentic.

Every music festival says it's all about love and music — until you refuse to pay 200 bucks for a ticket. Then they Taser your hippie rear end.

Bonnaroo is in Tennessee. The weather forecast says it's going to be really hot in Tennessee this weekend. How hot is it going to be? Paul McCartney will be singing "Live and Let Fry."

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Father's Day is on Sunday. The first Father's Day was celebrated in 1910. Before that, there were no fathers.

If you're looking for a thoughtful and expensive gift for dad, here is an idea: Try not to roll your eyes when he says something.

The much-anticipated "Man of Steel" comes out tomorrow. Finally, a superhero movie.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Last night, the Bruins and the Blackhawks played three overtimes in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup, right here on NBC. It went on forever — but on the bright side, it gave NBC its longest-running drama in years.

This week a man was arrested for jumping over the White House fence and trying to spray paint a political message. If that guy really wanted to get a message to the president, he could have just written it in an email to literally anyone.

Kate Middleton made her final public appearance today before she goes on maternity leave. Of course, the public had a lot of questions for her, like, “Maternity leave from what?”

 
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