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Friday Apr 26 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Yesterday all five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents if you count Hillary in 2016.

Plans are being discussed in California to let illegal immigrants serve on juries. Talk about doing the jobs Americans don’t want to do! It’s all yours. Thank you.

The United States Treasury announced that they will put into circulation a newly designed $100 bill in October. Of course, by that time, it should be worth about 50 bucks, but that's Ok.

Do we really need a newly designed $100 bill? Hey, in this economy, most people don't even remember what the old one looked like, all right?

Late Show with David Letterman

It's not a federal holiday but today you’re supposed to take your son or daughter to work. For a lot of people it's take your son or daughter to where you used to work.

In China, kids take their parents to work.

We have a new $100 bill. How many folks have seen a $100 bill lately? I haven't seen one since the ’70s.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

It turns out that former Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o did not get picked in the first round of the draft. But they told him he was, so it's all good.

After being named the unhappiest and the fattest state in the country, West Virginia has now been named the most stressed-out state. Researchers aren't sure why, but they think it might have something to do with being called sad and fat.

A woman in Florida is being praised for turning in over $36,000 in cash to the police after finding it on a golf course. Authorities are saying it's a selfless move, while the woman is like, “Good. Because I found $80,000.”

 
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