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Wednesday Apr 24 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

All five living presidents will gather for the opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library. President Obama says he hopes he can pick up some ideas for when he builds his. It's going to be called the “Blame George W. Bush Presidential Library.”

In observance of Earth Week, NBC currently is running its entire prime-time line-up completely into the ground.

A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women's facial expressions. The main reason? They are not usually looking at her face.

Basketball great Dwight Howard, who reportedly has four children from four different mothers, is expecting a fifth child with a fifth woman. Dwight’s going to be a father again — as opposed to the rest of the Lakers, who are mostly grandfathers.

Late Show with David Letterman

I'm Dave Letterman, and I am living proof there is no background check for talk-show hosts.

You’re probably saying to yourselves, “What big American pointless cultural event is coming up in a couple of days?” The NFL Draft, of course. I liked it when the NFL was all volunteer.

Remember the kid from Notre Dame who had the imaginary girlfriend, Manti Te'o. They are saying he will be taken in the first round of the NFL Draft. We heard that from his imaginary agent.

The New York Jets say they will take the best athlete possible in the draft. They're going to take the best athlete available. It's the same strategy the Kardashian sisters use.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

You know what the worst job in America is? It's newspaper reporter. I guess the pollsters forgot to ask the guy who cleans the toilets at Dodger Stadium how things are going for him.

It was dubbed the worst job because it's high stress, low pay, and often requires working in dangerous conditions. This must have been a fun story for the newspaper reporters to report. “Hey guys, guess what? Our lives stink.“

According to a study, the best job in America is actuary — primarily because no one knows what an actuary is. So they don't have to do much.

The Internet celebrated a major milestone yesterday. It’s the eighth anniversary of the very first video uploaded to YouTube. YouTube was founded in 2005 by a small group of visionaries who asked the question, “What if nobody in America ever got anything done ever again?”

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Microsoft founder Bill Gates is in a little trouble today. Apparently people in South Korea are mad at him for giving a one-handed handshake to the country's president, which over there is a sign of disrespect. And in hindsight, the hand buzzer wasn't a great choice either.

South Koreans are really upset about this, but Gates says it's just a miscommunication — while Americans say it's payback for "Gangnam Style."

A new report found that the worst job in the U.S. is being a newspaper reporter. They say it's better for writers to just focus on fiction and become a CNN reporter.

A new study found that the way someone sneezes can say a lot about a person. For example, if they hold their sneeze in, they're humble. If they cover it, they're respectful. And if they just sneeze into the air, they're standing next to you on the subway.

 
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