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Tuesday Apr 16 2013

Conan

Happy birthday to Israel. The country of Israel turned 65. Now that it's 65, Israel plans to retire and move to Florida.

Dennis Rodman claims the FBI wants to hire him as an informant. That makes sense because the first thing you want to do is to tell everyone you're an FBI informant.

A new study came out that shows that the germiest place in your kitchen is the refrigerator's vegetable drawer. After hearing this, most Americans said, “We have a vegetable drawer?”

Last night NPR was hacked by a group called the Syrian Electronic Army. Which explains why for five seconds last night, NPR was exciting.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

There are rumors that NBC is planning to produce a new season of the sitcom "Friends." Experts say it's been nine years since the show went off the air so only a few people would watch, making it the highest rated show on NBC.

A brewery in Japan has introduced a beer made from elephant dung. How do you market something like that? “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I make sure it comes from an elephant's butt.”

My wife recently got a virus when we went to Britain. If she were an elephant I could make a lot of beer.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

A Chinese businessman just purchased a $15 million iPhone. And I would pay $1 million for someone to shove him into the pool with it.

An easy way to tell if you're a terrible person is if you own a $15 million iPhone.

This is the perfect phone for anyone who wants to get mugged immediately after buying it.

You can get the phone for $14,999,950 if you sign a two-year contract.

A study has found that some people can suffer symptoms of withdrawal when they're forced to stay away from social media sites. This is why I'm not even on Facebook. I update my high school yearbook manually with a pen.

 
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