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Thursday Mar 28 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

North Korea is now threatening the United States with all-out war. What did Dennis Rodman say to these people? What did he do?

Ashley Judd announced she will not be running for Senate in Kentucky against Mitch McConnell. And Mitch McConnell announced he will not be co-starring in any romantic comedies.

The Pennsylvania Game Commission has charged a man with going deer hunting with a handgun in a Wal-Mart parking lot. He is being charged with reckless endangerment, but may plead guilty to the lesser charge of being a redneck.

Hunting in a Wal-Mart parking lot. That’s got to be some good eating — a deer that lives on leftover Twizzlers and Mountain Dew.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Easter is on Sunday. Americans buy an estimated $120 million pounds of candy for Easter every year. I hope Jesus comes back as a dentist.

We're having a get-together on Easter. Not for the kids. It's an adult thing. Eggs are filled with meat loaf. The kids aren't interested.

Yes, Jesus rose from the dead. No, he's not a zombie.

Wal-Mart will test a new delivery method for customers who order online. They're asking shoppers to drop stuff off for other shoppers on their way home. In exchange, Wal-Mart would give them a discount on their bill. So if you always wanted to work for Wal-Mart but didn't want to get bogged down with the paycheck and healthcare, this is for you.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano — the person in charge of our national security — recently said she doesn’t email, text, or tweet. So remember: If you see something, say something — because there’s literally no other way she’ll get the message.

North Korea is warning the U.S. that war with South Korea may break out at any minute. Or as Obama put it, “Can't believe I'm doing this. Get me Dennis Rodman.”

Yesterday President Obama told reporters that his NCAA tournament bracket is busted. Obama said they were the worst picks he's ever made — then he looked at his economic advisers and said, “Ehh, maybe not.”

A man in Pennsylvania was arrested for hunting deer in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. Or as Jeff Foxworthy put it, "Eh, too easy."

 
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