Wednesday Aug 05 2009

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner


President Clinton flew all the way to North Korea under the cover of night to rescue two beautiful women from the clutches of an evil dictator. What’s amazing is, that’s the exact same alibi he used on Hillary last week.

Yesterday, Paula Abdul announced she has decided to leave “American Idol.” When asked about it, Paula said, “I haven’t been this upset since they stopped making Zima.”

Today police in Detroit busted a marijuana growing operation that had more than a half a million dollars worth of pot plants. Way to go police — police found the only profitable business in Detroit and shut it down.

Late Show with David Letterman

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten


The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Congratulations to Bill Clinton for going to North Korea and freeing the two journalists. To be fair, it wasn’t that hard for Bill . . . he’s used to sneaking women out of government buildings.

The journalists were from Al Gore’s TV network, Current TV, which surprised me, when I heard about it. I thought TV network? Al Gore? It must be the Food Network, clearly.

I wonder how Al Gore feels about Bill Clinton rescuing his employees. That would be like NBC relying on Jay Leno to save their entire network.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Former President Clinton, under cover of darkness, parachuted into North Korea with a knife in his teeth and rescued journalist Laura Ling and Euna Lee. It was a 13-hour flight home, during which, according to standard rescue protocol, Clinton gave both of them mouth-to-mouth.

Meanwhile, former President Bush rescued two purple hearts from his Lucky Charms.

Both journalists work for Current TV, a channel nobody watches, owned by Al Gore.

Paula Abdul has left “American Idol.” I suspect the new host, Kara DioGuardi, will have some tough prescriptions to fill.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

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