JokesPageHeader
     
Monday Aug 10 2009

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Conan

President Obama met with the leaders of Mexico and Canada. He said would work with Mexico to solve the immigration problem, and he would work with Canada to solve the Celine Dion problem.

He met with Mexican President Felipe Calderon and they discussed the immigration problem. They met at the Mexican president’s home, which is now in Los Angeles.

Yesterday, former President Clinton gave a speech to a group from Haiti and he urged them not to give up hope. Clinton said, “Things can start to look bleak and then all of a sudden you’re on an airplane with two hot Asian chicks.”

Sonia Sotomayor is now a Supreme Court Justice. Now that she has joined the Supreme Court, one third of the Justices are now from New York City. This explains why the customary opening of a court session has changed from “All rise” to “Hey — I’m judgin’ over here!”

Late Show with David Letterman


Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

NA

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

This weekend Sonia Sotomayor was sworn in as the 111th Supreme Court Justice and only the third female in history. This is great. Now Ruth Bader Ginsburg will finally have a yoga buddy.

President Obama is in Guadalajara, Mexico for his first North American Leaders summit. After that, he’s expected to hold his very first “Imodium A-D Summit.”

During his weekly radio address, Obama said, "We've finally begun to put the brakes on this recession.” Which is good news. Unfortunately, the brakes were built by General Motors.

Here’s some optimistic news. Kim Jong Il now says he wants to hold face-to-face talks with the United States. Now all North Korea needs is a big-enough step-ladder.

 
Email:
 
Retype Email:
 
Country:
 
Zip Code:
Your e-mail address and personal information is confidential as stated in our Privacy Policy.
 

Newsmax, Moneynews, and Independent. American. are registered trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc. Newsmax TV, NewsmaxWorld, NewsmaxHealth, are trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc.

 
NEWSMAX.COM
America's News Page
©  Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved