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Thursday Oct 18 2012

Conan

You can sense the election getting very close. Both candidates are now working very hard to shore up their support among women. In fact, today they both pledged to increase domestic production of Ryan Gosling movies.

Yesterday Mitt Romney's son Tagg said that during the debate he wanted to punch President Obama for calling his father a liar. He also wants to punch his father for giving him the name Tagg.

Endorsements are rolling in. The Atheist Party has endorsed Obama for president. When told the news Obama said, "Thank God."

News out of India. A 96-year-old man became the world's oldest father. His wife gave birth to a beautiful 62-year-old baby boy.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

The European Farmer's Union has announced that because of cold temperatures and drought, grapes aren't growing well and as a result this will be their worst wine harvest in 50 years. Which means people are going to have to drink old wine, and who wants that, right?

Experts are hoping it won't affect prices or threaten the supply of wine, and if it does they might have to start drilling for wine offshore.

A report from a research firm says that for the first time in history, the number of smartphones on the planet has topped 1 billion. There's more Angry Birds than there are real birds.

One in seven people worldwide use a smart phone. Hopefully, one day we will never have to look up and into another person's eyes ever again.

The U.S. Postal Service is in bad shape. Because of the Internet people aren't sending mail much anymore. Maybe if they weren't so prudish about mailing bodily fluids and explosives, they wouldn't be in the situation.

 
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