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Tuesday Oct 09 2012

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Can you believe it's only another month until we start arguing about whether the election was stolen or not?

A handwritten letter written by Albert Einstein suggesting that there is no God went on sale on eBay starting at $3 million. When the owner heard how much the letter was worth, he said, "Thank you, Lord."

Japanese researchers have successfully grown mouse eggs in a laboratory dish, thus giving hope to millions of infertile mouse couples that hope to start a family.

A friend of Lindsay Lohan says she is not in a good place because people around her keep throwing her under the bus. You know, as long as Lindsay's under the bus and not driving it, I'm going to feel OK.

Late Show with David Letterman

Here's a sign that it's autumn in New York — Alex Rodriguez striking out with the bases loaded.

The Yankees got beat by the Orioles yesterday. The Yankees are saying they lost because of the altitude.

Here comes the vice-presidential debate. My favorite part of a debate is when a candidate will tell a heartfelt anecdote about a struggling American who lives in a swing state.

You know the Obama campaign's in trouble when they're looking to Joe Biden to turn things around.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Facebook is adding a new thing, which is the "want" button. We've given Facebook so much personal information. At this point, shouldn't it already know what we want before we push that button?

What if what I want is to be left alone by Facebook?

I think Facebook should stick to doing what they do best, which is letting you know that your friends from high school got fat and bald.

One-fifth of Americans now claim to have no religious affiliation. No one's exactly sure why this is happening. I think a lot of people stopped believing in God when they turned on the TV and saw Honey Boo Boo.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

People close to the campaign are saying that Mitt Romney’s son, Tagg, is now one of his chief advisers. That’s right, when Mitt asked him to join the team, he put his arm on his son’s shoulder and said “Tagg, you’re it!”

A new survey found that atheists are the fastest-growing religious group in the U.S. And if you find that hard to believe — well, you’re probably one of them.

Yesterday, two ATMs here in New York were shut down for dispensing counterfeit money. People were suspicious after one guy kept asking, “Hey, can you break a 23?”

 
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