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Thursday Aug 13 2009

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Rerun

Conan

Former Vice President Dick Cheney is working on his memoirs, and people say that when the book comes out, President Bush is not going to be happy. Not because the book is critical of Bush but because it’s one of those books that’s all words.

Former President Bill Clinton was recently asked about his wife Hillary’s 11-day trip to Africa and he said, “I wish she were home.” Then he said, “By which I mean I wish her home was Africa.”

There are two American male hikers and one female hiker imprisoned in Iran, and some people are saying Bill Clinton should go rescue them. When asked about the idea, Clinton said, “I’m 1/3 on it.”

In Idaho, police confiscated $20 million dollars worth of marijuana being grown near a Girl Scout camp. Police became suspicious after the Girl Scouts sold $20 million worth of Girl Scout Cookies.

Late Show with David Letterman

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Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

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Jimmy Kimmel Live

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Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

In his upcoming memoir, Dick Cheney said that George Bush stopped taking his advice during the second term of their administration. In Bush’s defense, I think it’s pretty natural to lose trust in a guy who shoots his friends in the face.

And this happens with every administration. I mean, Obama only listened to Joe Biden for . . . never.

Cheney explained that the “statute of limitations” has expired on remaining silent about the Bush administration. Meanwhile, George Bush said, “I love the statue of limitations. Beautiful lady. Is the torch open?”

Just one day after GM’s claim that its electric car, the Chevy Volt, would get 230 miles per gallon, Nissan announced that its new electric car, the Leaf, can achieve 367 miles per gallon. Meanwhile, Honda says it’s working on a new car that actually creates gasoline.

 
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