Monday Aug 27 2012

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

It looks like Hurricane Isaac has delayed the Republican convention for one day. This is a big storm. In fact, Isaac has scared more senior citizens than Paul Ryan.

Some of the Republicans, I think, are over-reacting to Hurricane Isaac — like today Rick Santorum was seen gathering up two of every animal.

Herman Cain was in Tampa. When a reporter asked him if Isaac reminded him of Katrina, he said, “I never even met the woman.”

The Mars rover Curiosity took its first test drive on the surface of Mars. It traveled 15 feet. Apparently it wasn't that curious.


Tomorrow the Mars rover is going to premier the new Black Eyed Peas song by beaming it back to Earth. In other words, the rover has turned against us. The machines have risen.

The world's oldest person turned 116. She said she lived a long life because she minded her own business. In a related story, she's also the world's oldest murder witness.

She saw someone get killed with a musket 116 years ago.

One of the newest trends in Iraq is knock-offs of American fast-food chains. These are real — such as Burger Friends and KFG. There's even a cheap knock-off of an Italian restaurant. It's called the Olive Garden.

Late Show with David Letterman

The Republican convention was worried that it was going to be postponed or maybe completely canceled because of Hurricane Isaac. This is serious stuff. CNN is on full Blitzer.

This year the theme of the Republican convention is "50 Shades of White."

NASA has actually landed a car on Mars. It's called the Curiosity. That vehicle, now on Mars, cost two and a half million dollars. But when you drive that thing off the lot, instantly it's worth less than half that.

They test drove the Curiosity over the weekend and it was digging a hole. It got bigger and bigger, digging a huge deep hole. It's like Todd Akin.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

While I took a couple of weeks off, Prince Harry runs around Las Vegas naked. Why couldn't he wait a couple of weeks?

Madonna was walking around naked in London. I think America got the better end of the deal.

The pictures of Prince Harry are everywhere. I admit when I saw them I was disgusted. They are so out of focus.

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