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Wednesday Aug 08 2012

Conan

A German Olympic diver did one of the worst dives ever and got a score of 0.0. He tried to save face halfway through the dive. He yelled "cannon ball."

Jersey Shore's Pauly D reportedly made $11 million last year. The lesson here is: Kids, don't stay in school. It's a huge waste of your time. Drop out now.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

This is Stage 58 at CBS. Seven and a half years — but tonight is our last night here. We're finally moving to another studio. It kind of bothers me, though, because they wrote my name over Katie Couric's.

The new studio's literally down the hall. It's not ready yet. It's where they used to tape "The Pat Sajak Show." That's why it's taking so long to get ready. They're trying to scrub out "that Sajak smell." He smells like vowels.

I have a lot of fond memories here. There was the time the power went out. The time the roof leaked. And the other time the power went out.

But now we're moving down the hall where it has the same electrical system. And the exact same roof. We'll be living the dream.

CBS would like me to inform you that these are not reruns. I'm just having some recent guests come back so we can talk about the exact same stuff we talked about last time.

 
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