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Wednesday Apr 18 2012

Conan

President Obama is gearing up for his presidential campaign. He's creating a new series of ads. The first ad boasts "just last week my Secret Service created jobs for 11 Colombian women.

The Secret Service prostitution scandal has gotten worse because apparently agents were also snorting cocaine. However, in the agents' defense, the Colombian hotels offer cocaine in the mini bar.

Conservatives are now criticizing President Obama because as a child in Indonesia he sometimes ate dog meat. But on the plus side, Obama is now polling very well among cats.

The Megamillions story is getting interested. The married couple in their 60s who won the Megamillions lottery says they giggled about it for hours, and by giggle they mean nervously plotted to murder each other.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Justin Timberlake announced he is unveiling his own line of home decor things. I haven't been this excited since Hooters announced they were lifting my lifetime ban.

Apparently only "employees" are allowed to wear those tiny orange shorts.

Justin's not designing the furniture. He worked with a professional designer. I doubt it was a 50-50 collaboration. Justin probably said "I like" and then the designer said "Great, I'll take it from here."

Justin didn't design the furniture, nor did he build it. Other than that, it's all his. He's seen it. Maybe.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

President Obama, in his memoir, talked about his childhood in Indonesia living with his stepfather. He said when he was 8 years old, his stepfather introduced him to a number of unusual meats, including dog. Our president ate dog. Not only that, according to the book, he also ate snake. And his mother was looking for tiger. He was eating through Noah's Ark.

But the dog thing — maybe that is where the floppy ears come from.

This is not something that someone dug up on him. This was in a book the president wrote himself. How did we miss this? If Ryan Seacrest wrote a book and said he ate dog, we would know about it.

The deadline to file your tax returns was last night at midnight. If you forget, don't worry. The IRS never checks.

 
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