JokesPageHeader
     
Friday Mar 23 2012

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

"The Hunger Games" is opening this weekend. The movie is based on the books where people are chosen in a lottery to compete in a televised battle to the death. Why can't we do this to the Republican primaries? Wouldn't that be great?

Mitt Romney got a big endorsement this week. The bad news: It was from Etch A Sketch.

Did you see the story about the mother duck and her ducklings helped through a a fence at the White House property? The Secret Service pushed the little ducks through the fence. Of course, the Secret Service checked to make sure the ducks had donated enough money to President Obama's re-election campaign.

A new experimental cholesterol-fighting drug is now creating a huge buzz among researchers. They say this drug could be life changing. Well, not a moment too soon, huh? I mean, for a minute there, a lot of Americans thought they might have to start eating healthy.

Conan

Rerun.

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Rerun.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Rerun.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Mitt Romney’s adviser actually compared him to an Etch A Sketch — and because of that, Etch A Sketch sales jumped 1,500 percent. Or as Disney put it, "Any way you can compare Romney to a ticket to 'John Carter?'”

A new study found that a growing number of parents regret the name they gave their baby. They actually have a name for those parents: "celebrities.”

Southwest Airlines just unveiled a new plane that can hold 175 passengers. Or as Southwest thinks of it, "a new plane that can hold 375 passengers."

A new study found that 45 percent of adults still have sibling rivalries. Yeah, and guess what? I read that story, like, three days before my sister did.

 
Email:
 
Retype Email:
 
Country:
 
Zip Code:
Your e-mail address and personal information is confidential as stated in our Privacy Policy.
 

Newsmax, Moneynews, and Independent. American. are registered trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc. Newsmax TV, NewsmaxWorld, NewsmaxHealth, are trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc.

 
NEWSMAX.COM
America's News Page
©  Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved