JokesPageHeader
     
Wednesday Mar 07 2012

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Rerun

Conan

Last night Mitt Romney just barely won the Republican race in Ohio by 1 percent. Then Romney said, "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is a victory for the 1 percent."

According to exit polls, Mitt Romney is struggling with voters who call themselves very conservative. However, Mitt is doing great with voters who describe themselves as being totally freaked out by Rick Santorum.

Apple unveiled the new iPad today. The new iPad apparently has only modest improvements over previous models — which of course means I will trample over my own mother to get one.

It's being reported that Dunkin' Doughnuts in China is adding pork doughnuts to the menu. For God's sake, do the Chinese have to beat us at everything?

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Mitt Romney's wife said she doesn't even consider herself wealthy. She then said, "If you don't believe me, just ask my chauffeur."

Gas prices — it is $6 a gallon here. People in L.A. are furious. You can't tell, of course, because of the Botox.

I'm excited about the new iPad. But then I'm excited about anything that is not the Republican primaries.

I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Rerun

 
Email:
 
Retype Email:
 
Country:
 
Zip Code:
Your e-mail address and personal information is confidential as stated in our Privacy Policy.
 
Around the Web
Top Stories

Newsmax, Moneynews, Newsmax Health, and Independent. American. are registered trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc. Newsmax TV, and Newsmax World are trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc.

 
NEWSMAX.COM
America's News Page
©  Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved