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Friday Feb 03 2012

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

President Obama spoke at the national prayer breakfast. The president said that his Christian faith is the driving force behind his economic policies. So I guess instead of blaming Bush, it's now all Jesus’ fault.

Obama said that he says a brief prayer every morning, but then Joe Biden shows up anyway. So I don't know if it would really work.

Mitt Romney is taking a lot of heat for saying he's not concerned with the very poor. I don't think he helped himself, either. Like today he says he does care about the homeless — especially the summer home-less.

The House of Representatives has passed a bill that prohibits people from using welfare money in strip clubs or liquor stores. I agree with that. Strip clubs and liquor stores should be off limits for people who get government funds — you know, like congressmen.

Late Show with David Letterman

Everyone has Super Bowl fever. Even Iran announced today that they are enriching guacamole.

On Super Bowl Sunday, Americans will consume $1 billion worth of snack foods. Who says America has lost its competitive edge?

What is more American than gathering the family for a full day of watching beer and Viagra commercials?

Sad news for Mitt Romney. He drove out of Florida with a live gator strapped to the roof of his car.

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Super Bowl Fun Facts

10
Before Gatorade, players dumped bouillabaisse on their coaches
9
This year, every commercial will feature a sneezing monkey
8
Super Bowl II was played on shag carpeting
7
No team trailing at the end of the fourth quarter has ever won a Super Bowl
6
Officials at the first Super Bowl were dressed as Zorro
5
Every Super Bowl is decided a week in advance by NFL spokesman Greg Aiello
4
Super Bowl MVP Larry Csonka appeared in the film, "Larry Csonka and the Chocolate Factory"
3
Mike Ditka is only person to win Super Bowl as a player, coach, and cheerleader
2
Due to a football shortage, Super Bowl XXXII was played with mangoes
1
Pat Nixon slept with every member of the 1972 Miami Dolphins backfield
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

The big reason people love the Super Bowl is the food. It's a big day for eating. People go all out with snacks on Super Bowl Sunday. This year I'm making a replica of the palace of Versailles out of baloney.

This year's game is expected to be the most watched TV show in history. So remember, car thieves, Sunday night is the best time of year to go to work.

The Super Bowl halftime show one the most amazing feats of engineering. The crew has less than 20 minutes to deploy a complex system of rigging, cranes, and pulleys. And once they get Madonna in her corset, they have to put up the stage.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Rerun

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Food truck vendors here in Indianapolis have been trained to look for suspicious behavior during Super Bowl weekend. You know, like a truck selling Korean tacos in the middle of Indiana.

It turns out that the owners of the Patriots and the Giants have each donated $5,000 to President Obama’s campaign. Which explains why Fox News is predicting that both teams will lose the Super Bowl.

I read about a guy here in Indiana who built an exact replica of Lucas Oil Stadium, using 30,000 Legos. It’s pretty cool. And this is even cooler: He had enough Legos leftover to build himself a girlfriend.

The movie “Big Miracle” came out, about some people trying to save a group of whales. Of course you may be familiar with the TV version — “The Biggest Loser.”

 
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