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Monday Sep 05 2011

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

For most Americans, Labor Day means a 3-day weekend, but for 9.1 percent of Americans, it’s been a 12-month weekend.

New statistics show the U.S. economy added 0 jobs in August. The White House cautioned Americans not to read too much into those numbers. What numbers?

Our guests on the show are Dick Cheney and Carrot Top. That’s what happens when you let Match.com pick the guests.

Conan

Rerun

Late Show with David Letterman

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Labor Day is one of my favorite holidays, along with Thanksgiving, July 4, and Wilford Brimley’s birthday.

After Labor Day, you’re supposed to put away your white clothes. I hope someone tells Moammar Gadhafi it would be bad to wave the white flag today.

Millions of jobs have been eliminated by technology, but I’m safe, along with my cheap robot co-host, who never needs healthcare.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

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Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Apparently, Mitt Romney is planning to build a huge addition onto his beach house in California. And here’s the cool part: They’re using the same wood that they used to build Mitt Romney.

I read that a man from Illinois discovered $150,000 in his garden. Did you hear that, President Obama? A man from Illinois actually grew the economy.

A woman in Alaska punched a bear in the face after it threatened her dog. Or as Sarah Palin put it, “Teach me, sensei.”

 
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