JokesPageHeader
     
Monday Aug 29 2011

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Hurricane Irene wasn’t that bad. In fact, it was downgraded to a tropical storm. Even our hurricanes are getting downgraded.

Maybe Irene owed money to China too.

Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back.

They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years.

Conan

Rerun

Late Show with David Letterman

Moammar Gadhafi had a photo album of pictures of Condoleezza Rice. Who doesn’t have one of those?

Gadhafi is apparently on the run, though today he released a message congratulating Beyonce on her pregnancy.

Dick Cheney says in his book that he would do it all over again. He feels so strongly that he said he would still invade the wrong country.

Cheney says he wrote the memoir because friends encouraged him to do it. This guy has friends?

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Happy birthday to Sen. John McCain, who turned 75 today. He celebrated with a party that was going just fine — until he invited Sarah Palin.

People on the East Coast are cleaning up after the hurricane and on the West Coast, we’re cleaning up after the Video Music Awards.

VMA may stand for “Video Music Awards,” but I feel like it stands for “Vulgar-Mouthed Adolescents.”

The first time I watched the VMAs, the best new artist was Beethoven.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Rerun

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

The storm was huge news. In fact, The Weather Channel reported something they hadn’t seen in years: viewers.

At the VMAs, Beyonce revealed that she and Jay-Z are expecting a baby. That kid is going to have everything — except a last name.

Happy Birthday to John McCain, who turned 75 years old today! A lot has changed since he was born. Back then a dollar was worth 20 cents. Today, it’s not worth nearly that much.

Get this. In a recent interview, Dick Cheney said that his new memoir will have quote “heads exploding” in D.C. Yeah, especially if you read it while you’re on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.

 
Email:
 
Retype Email:
 
Country:
 
Zip Code:
Your e-mail address and personal information is confidential as stated in our Privacy Policy.
 
Around the Web
Top Stories

Newsmax, Moneynews, Newsmax Health, and Independent. American. are registered trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc. Newsmax TV, and Newsmax World are trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc.

 
NEWSMAX.COM
America's News Page
©  Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved