Yesterday, earthquake; today, hurricane. Where do you go next — Tripoli?
The earthquake registered 5.8 on the Richter scale. I’ve had bigger heart attacks than that.
The earthquake was so strong that the tea party shifted to the center.
President Obama is enjoying the fun and sun in Martha’s Vineyard. It’s really sad when your SPF factor is higher than your approval rating.
Someone sent the show an envelope with white powder which turned out to be corn starch. On the one hand, I have an enemy out there, but on the other hand, my suits will now be thicker and richer.
Researchers in Britain claim they have created a gel that prevents tooth decay. We’ve got this in America. It’s called “toothpaste.”
The east coast is still cleaning up after the earthquake. Experts say this only happens once a century. It’s Larry King’s third.
Apparently there’s a crack in the Washington Monument. Calm down, Marion Barry, I said “a crack.”