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Tuesday Aug 16 2011

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Rerun

Conan

Michele Bachmann wished Elvis Presley a happy birthday even though it’s actually the anniversary of his death. When told about the mistake, Bachmann said, “My apologies to Elvis, and the entire Costello family.”

Newt Gingrich, who came in 8th place in the Iowa Straw Poll, said he’s “not dead yet.” Then he was invited on “Dancing With the Stars,” and he said, “OK, now I’m dead.”

The White House sent Vice President Joe Biden to China today. So now we owe them a trillion dollars and an apology.

Late Show with David Letterman

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Jimmy Kimmel Live

A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn’t sound too bad to me. You’d probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway.

President Obama is touring the country in a bus, because nothing inspires hope in the economy like the president riding in a bus.

Mitt Romney is calling Obama’s bus tour the “Magical Misery Tour,” which is kind of funny coming from a member of the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hair Club for Men.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Rerun

 
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