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Monday Aug 15 2011

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Rerun

Conan

Michele Bachmann won the Iowa Straw Poll. She said she hasn’t been this excited since she won last year’s “Who’s Crazier Than Sarah Palin” contest.

Tim Pawlenty announced that he’s dropping out of the race for president. Pawlenty said he wants to spend more time with his family because even they don’t know who he is.

Canada imposed a ban on trade with North Korea. No more hockey highlight DVDs for Kim Jong Il.

The NYPD created a new unit that will use social media sites to catch criminals. Criminal caught on Facebook and Twitter will be arrested, while criminals caught on MySpace will be told about Facebook.

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Tim Pawlenty dropped out of the race for president, saying he wants to spend more time lacking charisma with his family.

Only 39 percent of Americans approve of the job President Obama is doing. Ratings are at an all-time low, but ratings for “Jersey Shore” are at an all-time high.

If I were president, I would just pass a law against opinion polls. Hit them at the source.

Tiger Woods’ approval rating is also down, primarily because he appears to have lost the ability to play golf.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Rerun

 
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