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Thursday Jul 07 2011

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Democrats warned that if the debt ceiling isn’t raised, the government would cease to function. How would you be able to tell?

The government is warning that terrorists may try to blow up airplanes by implanting bombs under their skin. The airlines responded by saying they’ll charge any terrorists that do this a $50 fee.

Lady Gaga complained that the U.S. is allowing Iran and North Korea to get nukes and we have to stop them. Before the White House makes any decision, they’re waiting to hear from Britney Spears.

A toddler in China fell 10 stories out of a window and was caught by a woman walking by. The kid was fine. He didn’t even miss a day of work.

Conan

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Late Show with David Letterman

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

They say that if you break a mirror, you get seven years of bad luck. I broke a mirror once and all I got was seven stitches.

I don’t put any faith in numerology — especially in an odd-numbered month like this.

This show and “Sesame Street” are very different. One has a grouch who’s smelly from being in trash all day, and the other is “Sesame Street.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live

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Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

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