Wednesday Jun 29 2011

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner



Sarah and Bristol Palin made an appearance at a book store. Apparently, it was “Bring Your Daughter to a Place You Never Go Day.”

Lindsay Lohan had her house arrest bracelet removed. Then, when no one was looking, she slipped the bracelet into her pocket.

Chris Hansen, the host of “To Catch a Predator,” was caught cheating on his wife with a woman 20 years younger than him. Hansen knew something was up when he walked into his kitchen and he was already there waiting for himself.

Late Show with David Letterman

To all the tourists, remember: When you’re in New York City, if you smell something, say something.

Newt Gingrich is entering the hotdog-eating contest at Coney Island. He hopes to win because he needs the money to pay his Tiffany’s bill.

The Pope is now on Twitter. The church is really trying to connect with young people — in a way that doesn’t involve hush money.

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Lindsay Lohan Summer Plans

Get drunk, steal some crap
Scan United States code for laws she hasn't broken
For change of pace, rent timeshare in Hamptons prison
Update her mug shot
Play new fun game: Will I get buzzed into this jewelry store?
Help Michele O'Bachmann learn the difference between actors and serial killers
Decide if the next step is "Dancing With the Stars" or "Celebrity Rehab"
Shop for the latest trends in ankle monitor fashions
Go see new Tom Hanks/Julia Roberts movie "Larry Crowne." The "Chicago Tribune" calls it a delightful romp
Get treated for exhaustion, dehydration, or some other celebrity affliction
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Apparently, a pipe with marijuana in it was found buried in Shakespeare’s garden. That’s amazing. Shakespeare had a garden?

If they dig up Shakespeare and he’s buried in a tie-dye shirt with a pint of Chunky Monkey, we’ll know it’s true.

If Shakespeare knew this was going on, he’d be rolling in his grave — rolling a huge joint.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

The 4th of July is the day we celebrate our independence from Simon Cowell.

Experts say that because of higher gas prices, fewer families will travel this weekend. That’s a shame. I can’t imagine growing up without an 18-hour ride through the desert with my father who’s too cheap to turn the air conditioning on.

The Pope tweeted yesterday. If you had told me the Pope tweeted five years ago, I would have said, “Why? Does he think he’s a bird?”

Sarah Palin says she should be ready to make a decision on running for president by December 2012.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon


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