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Friday Apr 08 2011

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

It’s hard to believe that just two weeks ago, people in Washington were talking about shutting down the government in Libya.

If the government shuts down, senior citizens will still receive their checks, but no one will be around to answer questions about their benefits. So it will be pretty much business as usual.

House Speaker John Boehner says the government shouldn’t get paid if there’s a shutdown. Shouldn’t we be getting a refund for every day they close it down?

The Bravo network has shut down the show “Real Housewives of D.C.” Finally, a shutdown we can be proud of.

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

The Masters Tournament has been on CBS since 1956. It’s a CBS staple that will always be on the channel, like Andy Rooney or Katie Couric. Oh, wait.

They call the Masters the Super Bowl of golf, but you won’t see anyone with their shirt off and body painted. At least, not since I was banned from the Masters.

Golf is a national pastime in Scotland. It’s like baseball for them, but with more drinking.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Rerun

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

After months of budget negotiations and some tough compromises on both sides, I’m happy to announce that a deal has finally been reached. That’s right, the entire cast of “Jersey Shore” has signed on for season No. 4.

Kelly Ripa got her own wax figure at Madame Tussauds. It’s pretty realistic — in fact, Regis spent over an hour not letting it talk.

Triscuit, the cracker company, has launched a new social networking site for farmers. So look out, Facebook!

 
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