Friday Feb 11 2011

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Egypt’s President Mubarak finally resigned. When they heard that a Muslim president stepped down, the tea party said, “Obama’s leaving?”

Before her latest brush with the law, Lindsay Lohan planned to open a jewelry store. If Charlie Sheen can have rehab at home, Lindsay Lohan can open a jewelry store.

In court, the judge told Lindsay Lohan that she is “no different from anyone else.” How does that make us feel?

Keith Olbermann has a new job on Al Gore’s Current TV as an investigative reporter. His job will be to find anyone that watches Current TV.

Late Show with David Letterman

I always like going out for dinner on Valentine’s Day — until the part when you have to divide the check.

Five years ago, Dick Cheney shot his hunting buddy. Where does the time go? That was like five heart attacks ago.

There’s a new category for the Grammys this year: “Frantic 911 Calls From Drug-Binging Stars.”

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Restaurants That Still Have Reservations Available For Valentine’s Day

Chuck E. Sheen’s
They Might Be Clams
Outbreak Steakhouse
Burger Mullah
Buca di Break-up
Squirrel Fil-A
Kandahar Pizza Kitchen
Tavern On the Gangrene
El Pollo Salmonello
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Justin Bieber is doing really well right now. Nothing can stop him — except maybe puberty.

Justin Bieber is Canadian, and so is Celine Dion and William Shatner. It makes me wonder: Are we guarding the wrong border?

The whole world has Bieber fever. It’s what happens whenever a pop frenzy becomes a disease. There was also Beatle Mania, the Miley Cyrus Virus, and the Hasselhoff Cough.

Jimmy Kimmel Live


Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

I don’t know what to think about the whole mess in Egypt. Some people say Egypt will never be a democracy. On the other hand, Justin Bieber says, “never say never.”

A restaurant in London has started serving aged steaks infused with collagen. Or as Bravo calls that, “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

It’s rumored that Lindsay Lohan and her mom are opening a clothing and jewelry boutique. It will be located on the inside of Lindsay’s overcoat.

JWoww from “Jersey Shore” walked the runway yesterday during a designer’s fashion show. Meanwhile, Snooki walked the runway after she got drunk and wandered off at the airport.

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