Wednesday Oct 27 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Election Day is less than a week away. It’s a shame that either of these parties has to win.

It looks like California is on the verge of legalizing marijuana. You thought the haze over L.A. was bad before.

A 10-year-old Chinese boy survived falling 20 stories from an apartment building and landing on a parked car. The amazing part — he was back at work at the factory the next day.

Last night I was watching the New York version of "C.S.I." you know, "Charlie Sheen Intoxicated."

Last night I was watching the New York version of "CSI" you know, "Charlie Sheen Intoxicated."

Late Show with David Letterman

Mayor Bloomberg is so upset about the rising murder rate in New York City, he’s thinking about making it illegal.

Paul the psychic octopus from the World Cup is dead. He was stomped to death at a Rand Paul rally.

Paul the octopus has had some controversy this year. He was accused of texting pictures of his tentacles.

They’re experimenting with serving wine and cheese at Starbucks. How about experimenting with reasonably-priced coffee?

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Ways This Year's World Series Is Unlike Any Other

Left-handed hitters run to first base; right-handed hitters run to third base
Umpire blows a call, gets tazed
Vibrating mitts!
Losing team has to spend two months in a Chilean mine
Sexual tension between Tim McCarver and Joe Buck hotter than ever!
Each bullpen has an omelet station
One lucky fan will receive naked cell phone photos of Rangers owner Chuck Greenberg
Midway through Game 1, Cliff Lee signs with the Yankees
Celebrity bat boy: Justin Beiber! OMG!
Ceremonial first pitch thrown by a naked Charlie Sheen
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Everyone is talking about America’s sweetheart, Charlie Sheen.

It’s a great day if you love baseball. If you don’t, go and join al-Qaida.

With all the tension in the country, the World Series gives the nation a chance to hate each other for something other than politics.

You can tell the last game was in San Francisco because during the seventh inning stretch, they did Pilates.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

There have been tornado warnings across the country, with at least 24 possible tornados. Possible tornados are the second worst kind of tornado.

If this weather keeps up over the weekend, kids that are dressed up as witches and Superman may actually be able to fly.

Here in California, the only high pressure system we’re dealing with is whether or not pot becomes legal next Tuesday.

In New York, they’re still cleaning up from a tornado named “Charlie Sheen.”

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Washington D.C. was under a tornado watch. It was pretty crazy, especially when the White House landed on Christine O’Donnell.

Air New Zealand will soon offer seats for couples that can be converted into beds. And you thought it was annoying when the couple next to you talked the entire trip.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has canceled a train tunnel between New York and New Jersey. As a result, New Yorkers will have to get to New Jersey the same as they always have — by accident.

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