Wednesday Sep 15 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Democratic Congressman Charlie Rangel easily won his primary. He hasn’t been this happy since he saved all that money by not paying taxes.

Nancy Pelosi’s Republican opponent, John Dennis, has an ad where he depicts Pelosi as the Wicked Witch of the West. Pelosi is very angry and the Wicked Witch is even angrier.

President Obama spoke to students this week and told them to stay focused and stay in school. You know why? Because there are no jobs out there.

For the first time ever, Microsoft’s Bing search engine has more users in America than Yahoo!. I heard that on Google.

Late Show with David Letterman


The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It’s a great day for the members of the tea party. You know, the new political party that believes in . . . I don’t know.

Democrats are calling Christine O’Donnell “the Sarah Palin of the East.” Really? She’s a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That’s not Sarah Palin, that’s Joe Biden.

People magazine released their Best Dressed List and I’m on it. They also put out their Worst Dressed List and I’m surprised I’m not on it. I don’t pick these suits. They’re left over from Bob Barker.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Well-known, veteran politicians were upended by candidates from the tea party. I’ve been to a lot of tea parties with my daughter and most of the people there are stuffed animals.

Happy birthday to Mexico, which is celebrating its 200th birthday. May God have mercy on the piñatas.

Lady Gaga won eight awards on the VMAs and accepted them in a dress made of meat. She’s also getting ready to launch her new fragrance. It’s called “A-1 Steaksauce.”

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg may soon ban smoking in many of the city’s outdoor public sites. That means the park is now for drinking and drinking only.

In October, a monument will be unveiled in South Carolina honoring the band Hootie and the Blowfish. No word yet as to why.

Mexico celebrated its 200th birthday. They celebrated at their favorite spot: here.

There’s a new commercial airing in D.C. that blames McDonald’s for high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Today, McDonald’s issued a statement, saying “That’s it?”

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