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Tuesday Sep 14 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

A group called the Center for American Progress is using Justin Bieber in their marketing to help get out the vote in November. And really, what better symbol to get out the vote than someone who is way too young to vote and Canadian.

The alleged drug kingpin who goes by the nickname “El Grande” was arrested in Mexico, along with his two accomplices, “Tall” and “Venti.”

According to Wall Street Journal, 1 out of every 5 people who commit suicide in New York City do so by jumping from a tall building. The rest do it by signing a long-term contract with the Knicks.

A man in Georgia is suing a grocery store after finding a tampon in his box of Chocolate Chip Crunch cereal. Isn’t that disgusting? A grown man eating Chocolate Chip Crunch cereal.

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It’s a bad day for George Michael. He’s going to jail because he crashed his car under the influence. The judge gave him eight weeks in jail. He said he’ll appeal for a longer sentence.

Health experts say hand-washing in public restrooms is on the rise. I think that’s just what health experts say when they’re arrested for loitering in public restrooms.

Last week, Australian scientists discovered tractor beams and this week, they discovered that bats have regional accents. Is there anything Australian scientists can’t do?

Jimmy Kimmel Live

New FBI statistics say that crime in the United States fell 5 percent from last year. You see what happens when we put Lindsay Lohan in jail?

You know things are bad when even criminals can’t find work in this country.

Experts say the decrease in crime could be due to the aging of the population, increased incarceration, and many criminals finding jobs in the banking industry and on Wall Street.

George Michael once hit three parked cars with his one moving car. It’s why he named his band “Wham” in the first place.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

President Obama is going to release a fun, easy-to-read children’s book. It’s for ages Biden and up.

It’s rumored that Shaq and his girlfriend are engaged. When he proposed, Shaq got down on one knee and said, “Hey, you down there. Will you marry me?”

A new study found that two-thirds of the world’s penguins are threatened. Which begs the question, why do they keep answering the phone?

A new report found that Asian-American students have the best SAT scores. In second place — anyone sitting behind the Asian-American students during the test.

 
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