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Monday Sep 13 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

President Obama insisted that the U.S. economy is still showing improvement. And he said you can take that to the bank, if you can find any that are still open.

According to a new report, 41 of President Obama's staffers now owe the government more than $831,000 in back taxes. When asked if they could just keep avoiding taxes, they said, "Yes we can! Yes we can!"

There was no Koran burning on Saturday. Apparently that dopey pastor, Terry Jones, decided not to burn the Koran when he realized the only copy he had was on his Kindle.

Snooki from "Jersey Shore" was in court the other day and the judge called her a "Lindsay Lohan Wannabe." I'm still trying to figure out who should be more offended.

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It’s a great day for the leader of the free world. Of course, I’m talking about Oprah.

Lindsay Lohan did a skit on the VMAs about her drinking, which I was not happy to hear. There’s only room for one troubled woman joking on TV about her drinking problem and that is me.

I like Medieval Times, but if they wanted to have a real medieval experience, they would knock out half your teeth and give you food that would give you dysentery.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Lady Gaga won eight awards at the VMAs and showed up covered in actual meat. This Atkins diet is getting out of control.

It was a long show. She came wearing meat and left wearing jerky.

After 24 years and 1,800 pounds of yo-yo diets, Oprah’s final season is upon us.

Oprah had a huge surprise for her audience. First, she burned the Koran. Then she announced that she’s taking the audience on a trip.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

“The Jerry Springer Show” turned 20 years old, which means it’s old enough to be a grandmother on “The Jerry Springer Show.”

Newt Gingrich said President Obama is out of touch with how the world works. Then Gingrich was like, “Hold on, I think someone Is faxing me something.”

Spencer Pratt was arrested in Costa Rica on weapons charges, and he tweeted that Costa Rica has banned him from the country. In response, the U.S. was like, “Wait, you can do that?”

A 27-year-old man was arrested after posting on Facebook that he was engaged to a 14-year-old girl. People could tell something was up when he changed his relationship status to “it’s illegal.”

 
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