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Monday Aug 30 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

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Late Show with David Letterman

Paris Hilton was arrested again. Your move, Lindsay Lohan.

Today is the 17th anniversary of The Late Show. After 17 years, I need to learn the names of the staff.

Five years ago, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. George Bush observed Katrina’s fifth anniversary by doing exactly what he did when the hurricanes struck — nothing.

Dr. Kevorkian was in the audience at the Emmy Awards. He loved the montage of all the dead actors.

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons I Still Love Hosting The Late Show With David Letterman

10
Get to chat with memorable celebrities like whoever was on last night
9
No one listens to me anywhere else
8
CBS nurse not stingy with Demerol
7
To date, have helped bring over 1,500 fugitives to justice
6
It helped me meet Justin Bieber. OMG!
5
At my age, marquee with my name on it helps me remember where I work
4
I get to work with the great Tom Herrmann
3
It still beats a Chinese traffic jam
2
I love wearing make-up
1
Conan tells me to just be thankful I have a show
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Paris Hilton was arrested for cocaine possession. In her defense, it was in Las Vegas.

Paris says someone else left their cocaine in her purse. In legal circles, this is known as the Lindsay Lohan defense.

From now on, when a joke bombs on this show, I’m going to say it was someone else’s joke.

I went on vacation the same time as President Obama. We both had to get away from it all and not do anything of significance.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

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Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

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