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Tuesday Aug 10 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

A JetBlue flight attendant cursed out passengers, grabbed two beers, slid down the chute and took off. The pilots were furious. Those were their last two beers.

This flight attendant really went crazy. The good news: terrorists are now afraid to fly.

Plans are being finalized for Mexico’s bicentennial. On Sept. 15, over 70 million Mexicans will celebrate, and that’s just in Los Angeles.

Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he’ll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It’s Ecuadorian Independence Day. It’s also Antonio Banderas’ birthday. Coincidence? Not the slightest.

“Candid Camera” started on ABC in 1948, then moved to NBC and CBS, because back then, shows switched networks all the time. That would never happen now.

“Candid Camera” was created by Allen Funt, who was like the Ashton Kutcher of his day. And back when he started the show, he was actually dating Demi Moore.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Today is National S’mores Day. It’s the day that we honor the memories of all the fallen marshmallows that were drowned in chocolate and burned to make this the fattest country in the world.

Summertime brings a whole new batch of reality TV shows. I think we should get rid of some of the reality shows we already have. That could be a reality show. Every week, we vote one reality show off the air.

Levi Johnston is planning to run for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. He really is trying as hard as he can to get shot by Sarah Palin, isn’t he?

Mel Gibson’s father is speaking out, claiming that the Pope is a homosexual. It might be a good time for the whole Gibson family to go to a monastery and take a vow of silence.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Scientists in Britain unveiled the world’s first robot with emotions. That’s just what we need — a Rumba that’s too bummed out to vacuum.

Justin Bieber has signed on to be the new spokesman for the acne brand ProActive. I guess we know what’s hiding behind those bangs.

A man in West Virginia was arrested in a park with his pants down holding an armless mannequin. He told a cop, “This isn’t what it looks like.” And the cop said, “I have no idea what this looks like.”

Supermodel Kate Moss is launching her own brand of homemade jams. The jars will come in two styles: low fat and empty.

 
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