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Monday Aug 09 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Tiger Woods finished 18 over par at the Bridgestone Invitational. The last time he hit this many trees, he was trying to get out of his driveway.

President Obama announced this month that he created 70,000 new jobs. The bad news is, they are all vacation planners for him and his family.

The U.S. Postal Service reported a $3.5 billion loss in the last quarter, which established it as the federal government’s most successful enterprise.

Experts said that eventually, the post office could turn a profit if this e-mail thing turns out to be just a fad.

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It’s the birthday of an American hero. Smokey the Bear is 66 years old.

It was on this day that construction began on the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which was named after the town in which it was built, of course, named “Leaning.”

The Leaning Tower of Pisa started leaning while they were building it. Builders were shocked to find out the tower wasn’t straight, just like me with Ricky Martin.

Galileo was born in Pisa. He invented the telescope and then, about five minutes later, invented spying on his neighbors.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

My niece and nephew started school already. They’re in Arizona, so I guess they wanted to get them in while the playground is still 150 degrees.

Snooki from “Jersey Shore” was arrested and she apologized to her father for embarrassing him. This embarrasses him? Has he seen any of the show?

Snooki says she learned her lesson and will no longer drink during the day. Unfortunately, that violates her contract with MTV.

Naomi Campbell was forced to testify about blood diamonds given to her by former Liberian President Charles Taylor. She told reporters, “I didn’t want to be here. This is a big inconvenience for me.” Which is exactly what the slave that had to dig up the diamonds said.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

A new study found that Americans are becoming more honest about their weight. I guess people are starting to realize we can see them.

There’s a new Pop-Tarts café opening in Times Square. Finally, a way to enjoy Pop-Tarts without the hassle of making them myself.

A man from California was arrested for trying to smuggle piranhas into the country. And you thought it was scary hiding heroin in your rectum.

 
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